Transfiguration, part 4

Ariana London – Transfiguration
Part 4

“You will leave here at once.”

She spoke with the rage of a serpent and the strength of a thousand kings. The look of terror on his face was satisfying and demoralizing all the same. He fled. Whatever had come over her seemed to be leaving now, like a great weight lifted from her soul. If only it were the only one.

See her now, this woman with freshly blackened hair on soft pale skin. See the torment she has been witness to and see the confusion in her mind.

With trembling hands, she fumbled with the lock on the door, her stalker now running frantically down the hall away from her. ‘He was right to run’, she thought.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she imagined all the things she wished to say to him. Echoes of the hurtful words resounded on her skull, reverberating with every massive pump of her heartbeat until she closed her eyes and clenched her teeth to make them disappear.

Silence, once again. Oh beautiful silence. The savior from the horrible discord of humanity. In silence, she could forget all the pains and horrors she had seen. But no matter how deep the silence became, it could never hide who she really was, or at least who she feared was living inside of her.

She looked down at the letter on her nightstand. The invitation she could never refuse, the match in Vatican City ordained by the head of The Experts, Draeden Darksky. A match against 5 opponents in which she was a chance replacement for. Chance, yeah. But there it was, her invitaiton to reenter the nightmare of professional wrestling. No, that wasn’t a fair assessment because the events set in motion after signing with the VWF were placed by destiny long before she was born.

She stood up and went to the mirror, studying her black hair. It would have to be something to get used to, of course. But, she just couldn’t bear to see herself as she was before. Her blonde hair reminded her too much of… At any rate, she finally understood why The Eternal Circle wore those dark robes. Tradition was only a part of it. But surrounding yourself in black had a way of making you forget the person that you used to be. Nobody questions why monsters consumed in darkness do such vile things, but when plain-clothed human beings with lightly colored hair and store-bought fashion jewelry commit such atrocities… it just makes it all worse.

“Why Vatican City?” She spoke this aloud to the quiet room. She was not catholic, but she did respect the religion and their customs, their rich history, telling stories both good and bad. It’s the home of The Pope, one of the most powerful titles in human existence.

“Is that why?” She wondered again.

She knew that as the new leader of The Eternal Circle, she had inherited many enemies, Black Death being one of them. But what concerned her more were the people that called themselves friends. These were not her people. She had been exiled from their kind over 20 years ago when she was barely old enough to speak. It was done for her ‘protection.’ These people had their own agendas and were not shy about dealing blood casually to suit their needs.

What concerned her now more than the idea of placing her in Vatican City as some sort of a trap for her, was the idea that she was placed there as a trap for her opponents or for The Vatican itself. There were those among the order that believed she was the resurrected Ayryanal, the long lost love of the mythical Dragon. Bullshit, she called it. But even as she thought this, she could still feel that deep voice in the pit of her stomach. She could still feel the shadow that followed her wherever she went. The darkness of all the evil she had done and the promise that there was more along the way.

The following morning, Ariana stood in front of the Transfiguration Catholic Church in Hayward, California. She nodded to Smitty, who sat parked in the Lincoln by the street. He always looked so out of place, shrouded in black robes but seemingly always smoking something less than legal. He was not born into this life, but trained in it as a change in direction. He had re-dedicated his life to the order three years ago after nearly being killed by Bonez, an outcast of The Eternal Circle and Smitty’s closest friend.

Ariana walked up to the modest doors and eyed the plaque on the wall. She took a moment to read the scripture.

“And after six days Jesus taketh with him Peter, and James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into a high mountain apart; and he was transfigured before them; and his face did shine as the sun, and his garments became white as the light.” – Matthew 17, 1-2


Still examining the meanings of these words, she walked into the foyer. To her left, she heard a voice speak up.

“Hello, Miss.” The voice came from an older man a few yards away. Obviously a priest, he wore the traditional suit with white collar and he had kindness in his eyes. “How can I help you?”

She smiled, not really knowing what to say. ‘How could he help her?’ She thought.

“Well, I don’t know. I was invited to go to The Vatican near the end of this month, and well… I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Are you catholic?” He asked.

“No,” she replied. “I don’t think so. Never gave it much thought, really.”

She looked down at her feet, feeling foolish. What was she going to say? That she unknowingly became the leader of a secret society of warriors?

“Well, that’s no problem. Come, walk with me. I can see there’s something on your mind and I’m a good listener.”

She made a small movement towards the door to follow him, but she hesitated, not quite sure.

“I promise you,” he said. “I’ve not seen anyone burst into flames upon entering the sanctuary yet, and I don’t expect to.” She smiled and followed after him. “Tell me, what do you know about the catholic faith?”

“Well,” she said. “I know the church has a rich history, that-“

He cut her off. “Not about the church, the faith.”

She paused, weighing her words. She had come here to seek answers about her invitation to The Vatican for a fight. Something she wouldn’t expect to be allowed under normal circumstances. She was mostly concerned with what humanly forces were being set in motion for this to happen. What motive, what earthly outcome.

“I don’t know. I don’t know much about God, either. He hasn’t exactly been a piece of my puzzle in life.”

“You may think that,” he assured. “But God has ordained everything. He’s not just a piece of the puzzle, he’s the table that you must assemble it on.”

“Knowing God played a role in my life doesn’t exactly cast him in a nice light.” She immediately regretted the bite in her words. The priest seemed to not be offended.

“I once knew a young man who told me something similar.” He looked far off, as if reliving a fond memory. “He was a shy kid with awful things in his past, but he also had the heart of a warrior underneath the soft exterior. I don’t know why I bring him up, but he does remind me of you.”

She didn’t respond, but went on listening.

“I told him that sometimes God will shake our world like a kid shaking an ant farm, but afterwards he’ll take that farm and open it up. And every ant that perseveres will find freedom, not only from the turmoil but from their imprisonment in their cage.”

“Father, I don’t mean to sound blasphemous. But does that make God caring? It seems it’s a cop-out that he can do these things but reward us afterwards, like everything’s okay.”

“You’re absolutely right. But I’ll clue you in on what I also told that boy, though there are many priests that would disagree with my philosophy. To me, it’s the heart of my own faith. God is love, but he is also cruel. You can see that in this world around us. In ourselves, for we were made in his image. We have the potential for great good, but also the potential for great evil. I remember telling young Alex this, with his dark contemplating eyes. And he looked at me in much the same way that you do. There is forgiveness for us all if we can come to him with humility. But just as God forgives us, we must forgive him.”

She thought about this for a while, but her mind kept drifting off to the boy the priest referred to as Alex. And from there, she thought of the Alex that she knew. Alex McGregor, who even now is being held prisoner by her own will. Was it a terrible coincidence to come here, to hear this story of a boy with the same name as the one she has done wrong? Or was this fate once again coming together and falling at her feet, as it did once before. Or was this God giving her a sign?

“I’d like to go to confession,” she said breaking her silence. “Do I have to be catholic?”

“No, but you must have a humble heart and love for God.”

“I have a humble heart,” she said. “I don’t know if I can love God, but if he’ll forgive me then perhaps I can forgive him.”

“Let’s go to confession.”

They each went through their respective doors into the confessional. Ariana sighed, stepping into its darkness. Would the darkness in her own heart follow her here as well?

“O God,” began the priest. “You know us better than we know ourselves. When we fail, you want to restore us. We come to you believing in your promise of grace and forgiveness. Isaiah 43:25 says: ‘I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake’, says the Lord, ‘and I will not remember your sins.’ Now, trusting these promises, confess your sins to God.”

“I don’t really know where to begin,” she said.

“Whichever sin is the hardest. Start there.”

She was silent for some time afterwards. Such sweet silence, she thought.

“I… feel like I’m turning into some kind of monster. I drove the love of my life to suicide. I… watched him die.”

“What was his name?”

“Adam.” For a second, she nearly called him Dragon, the name he wore the day they met. But it would have been wrong to do so, for the real Dragon was Alex. Poor Alex, who had lost everything. “And there was another, a girl. She was only there to help and she was killed. Samantha was her name, and I… I did nothing to save her.”

“The Lord will forgive you, child.”

Ariana felt on the verge of tears, but also felt embarrassed for showing it. She was to be strong, able to withstand any amount of physical pain. Yet, it was the hidden pains that hurt her most. She eyes grew hot and wet, but she closed them against the pain.

“There’s more. I never intended for either of them to die. The truth is I expected Adam to kill me and not himself. In a way, I would have welcomed it. I was resigned to the fact, but his love for me was too strong. But there was another… the man that Samantha had come to save. He lives, but I have wronged him. He’s imprisoned… and it’s because of me. I gave the order. He’s lost everything... everything I’ve lost as well. We’re really similar, I suppose. But while I’m here, free to live my life… he’s powerless and alone.”

“The Lord will forgive you, child. What is his name?”

“Alex… like the boy from your story.”

“I see. Can Alex be set free? If you’ve wronged him, you cannot continue to do so and find forgiveness. You must set him free.”

“I would… but I don’t know if I can. Oh, poor Alex McGregor.”

She could hear the priest fall off his stool. He got up again and pressed his face to the screen that separated them.

“What did you say? What was his name?”

Confused and still sad, she repeated his name. The priest was silent for some time, then he went on though there was pain in his voice.

“The Lord… will forgive you, child. Is this all?”

Feeling strange and suddenly alert and out of place, Ariana indicated that it was.

“On the authority of Jesus Christ, committed unto me, I say to you: Your sins are forgiven, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”

“Thankyou, Father.”

But the priest had already opened the door to leave his side of the confessional. Ariana went out and she met him outside.

“Alex McGregor, you’re sure that’s his name?”

“Yes,” Ariana answered. But she held a look of hesitation. “Do you know of him?”

“Child, you must set him free. I take it his imprisonment is not a lawful one.”

“I’m afraid, Father. For myself and for him, if he is set free a great harm may come. It is why I seek forgiveness because… I am cruel for doing what I’ve done, but it’s necessary all the same.”

“My dear, that is the nature of God. He doesn’t shake our world because he desires it, but he does it all the same. Remember my story, the one I told your friend Alex when he came to me as a teen years ago. In the end, God sets us free. And it is with love that he does so. Child, it was no accident for you to find yourself here in this situation.”

“You may be right, Father. That’s what I fear the most. In any event, I’m glad that I came. I really needed answers, for why fate has twisted itself so many times to land me in so many awful places and situations. You’ve answered some of that for me. With Alex… I just don’t know. But I understand you, Father.”

“The Lord is mysterious, child. And he speaks to us in mysterious ways. I don’t know what lies ahead of you, but… well, I just don’t know.”

She turned from him and walked away, out of the Transfiguration Church and got inside the Lincoln parked outside. Smitty flicked his blunt out the window and drove off.

“I hope that was productive,” Smitty declared. “Do you think I’ll go to Hell for getting high outside of church? I guess technically not, since I wasn’t in the church. Now, if I get high in the church I’m pretty sure to find a hot seat waiting for me when I die.”

Ariana didn’t respond, her mind far off.

“Listen, babe. I got some info on your opponents at the Vatican.” She still didn’t respond, but Smitty went on. First guy is Bridge Emmett. Your standard cocky son of a bitch. Spoon fed victories his whole career, in fact just recently he won by disqualification against Chester Addison. Sure, he wasn’t the one that cheated but it gives you an idea of the kind of victories this guy gets. He’ll do anything to get ahead, as long as he looks good. But in the ring, he’s an animal. Extremely technical. I suppose that’s the downside to guys like him. He’s arrogant and confident, but don’t confuse that with untalented.”

Ariana continues to stare out the window. Smitty looks up, frustrated.

“Your next guy is Johnny Cedrone. I’m sure you remember him, you’ve faced him before back in the VWF and beat him to win the Intercontinental Championship.”

He sees her still staring out the window.

“Of course, that’s when you stripped naked and ran through the arena wearing Barney Green’s underwear on your head. Of course, you had to wrap it around your head like 8 times to get it to stay, but still… it was rather shocking. I remember Scott Carr was quoted as saying, ‘Damn she fine.’ But my memory isn’t all that great. Ariana, are you even listening to me or am I just talking for my health?”

“Sorry, Smitty. What were you saying?”

“Where are you, Ariana? You’re so distant. You need to focus. You haven’t wrestled a big match since the summer and you lost that one against Scorpio. What you need to do is put all of this shit behind you and get to thinking about what you need to do.”

“Smitty, what do you really think is going on with having this match set in Vatican City?”

“I don’t follow.”

Ariana sighed. “I don’t know, am I being too conceited to think that it’s not a coincidence that I’m invited into this thing, that Warbuks had to drop out without warning? I mean, has there EVER been a wrestling match at The Vatican? Ever?”

“I don’t know, Ariana.” He said this, but didn’t look exactly truthful as he did. Ariana noticed something in his look that told her this, but she didn’t admit it then.

“Who are my other opponents?”

“Darkseid, from Siberia.”

Ariana’s chest tightened, hearing where he’s from.

“Ariana, don’t fret. There’s nothing big happening. I assure you none of the other Eternal Circle members have anything planned. You’re all getting on a flight to go there, Darkseid taking a different one of course since he’s coming from the prison. This is strictly an Experts thing, and The Experts is SO far separated from the order now that Gunn’s no longer in charge.”

“I know, Draeden’s the man now. But wasn’t he in Ireland the day it all happened?”

“Ariana…” there was a nerve of frustration in his tone.

“Sorry.” She was sincere.

“Anyway, getting back to Darkseid. He’s really into control. He hates when people counter him or challenge that. When he’s not in control, he’s furious. You can use that to your advantage, of course. Just recently, his cell in Siberia was vandalized and it drove him wild at the thought of it. He’s also not too… uh, fond of women. Just do what you do best and I think his entire philosophy will be challenged. Then there’s Agent Decipher Light.”

“Oh God…”

“Yeah, well… if you want company in talking about what sort of conspiracy has led to the leader of The Eternal Circle in close proximity to the leader of the Catholic Church, he’s your conversation buddy. But keep in mind… while his mind is a little out there, the guy is very dangerous. Bonez used to always tell me, never trust someone who doesn’t think like you.”

“Bonez didn’t think like any sane person, Smitty.” Ariana countered.

“True… I guess that means he never trusted any sane person, either. Regardless, don’t give this guy an inch of breathing room, or he’ll make you regret it.”

“You’re awfully comforting.”

“It’s not time for comfort, sweetie.” He smiled, knowing she hated being called that. “It’s time to kick some ass. The last guy in the match is Exile, from TFWF. Good guy, very formidable. But the good guy’s gonna finish last in this match.”

“Did you make that up yourself?”

“Yeah, I did. What did you think?”

“Meh, it’ll due.” She smiled. Talking with Smitty was good for getting your mind off of things. And Lord knows, there was a lot to occupy her mind. “Anything in particular I should know about him?”

“Hope that at the end, it comes down to the two of you. One on one, it would be a hell of a match-up. You both have similar wrestling styles, but watch out for his finisher the Outcast. It can come out of nowhere, so if you’re not careful the match could be over really quick.”

“Smitty… can I ask you a question?”

“Sure thing, sweetie.” He smiled again, but this time she didn’t bother giving him a scowl.

“What would happen if we set Alex free?”

Smitty blinked and nearly lost control of the vehicle. He looked up at her in the mirror. “Seriously? You should be thankful you went to church, because you’d be meeting your maker soon. All of us would. This guy… I don’t think you even know. I mean, if he really is… I mean REALLY is Dragon, resurrected from back in the day? Hell, I don’t really believe it but if he is… I mean, damn. There’s a reason The Eternal Circle survived hidden for 4 centuries and it was to honor the memory of the greatest fighter the world has ever seen. I mean, the legend says he killed six dozen men single-handedly in a blood rage after his girl died. Even if he AINT Dragon, he sure as hell will be pissed about Samantha. Listen, you’re the one in charge but as a strong word of advice, just don’t do it. Don’t let guilt or whatever cloud your good judgement.”

“He’s done nothing wrong, though.”

“Yet… done nothing wrong yet.”

She had no more to say, and surprisingly even Smitty remained silent after this. Silence, such beautiful silence. Only now, she could feel the tingling in her chest and the horrid agony that had temporarily lifted from her earlier. The monster she feared she would become seemed to be inching its way closer to the forefront of her perception.

‘I’m not a monster.’ She thought. And yet, she didn’t truly believe it.